National Organization of Witches.
Full disclosure: I am not, and never have been, a member of the National Organization for Women.* Steve and I have donated a couple of Rabbit Pearls to them for the annual silent auction they have at the local chapter here in Chicago**, though, so I suppose we still do support them in some monetary way.
Even though I'm not, you know, official or anything, I still joined the active members in a collective eyeroll when the Leader of the Christian Taliban*** Jerry Falwell referred to them as The National Organization of Witches.****
This, sadly, is what passes for wit in those circles. They've been calling feminists "witches" for literally twenty years, possibly more. I think more. I think second wave feminist icon (and one of my heroes) Robin Morgan started a group called WITCH in response to it, where they ran around and did Abbie Hoffman-esque stunts like casting a spell on the New York Stock Exchange to shut it down at the beginning of the day. When the Wall Streeters tried to open the doors, they found that they could not. The WITCHes took full credit for their spell working, of course, and they were indeed responsible, as they had superglued the locks shut the night before.
So feminists haven't taken the accusations of witchcraft seriously, ever. So why does the religious right persist when we so clearly are amused by it? I was thinking about it when I was stuck in a four hour long traffic jam with the kids in the car last Wednesday, and the only thing I could come up with is either 1.) it's a veiled threat along the lines of "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"***** or 2.) Falwell and his people are taking Harry Potter way too seriously.******
Did I mention I was in traffic for four hours? Four hours to travel 35 miles? Lots of time to think, there. I started daydreaming about how wonderful that would be if it were true, the National Organization of Witches. I would so totally join if that were one of the perks. Ah, to zip over all this traffic on my broomstick! Alex would ride in front of me so I could hold on to him, while Christopher would sit behind me in his carseat that I would have to figure out how to attach to the wide bristly part of the broom. In the winter, I'd have to cast some sort of protective heat bubble around us, because Alex hates cold weather. I imagined us sailing along over the tops of all the cars.
"Here comes an overpass, kids! Should we go over it or through it?"
"Through it! Through it!"
"Everybody duck!"
"Wheeeeeeeee!"
Would that be great or what? And imagine our tee-shirts! I had so much time sitting there in the car that I actually did imagine the tee-shirts. Then I went home and made them. I designed the logo and Steve created the Cafe Press site, and here they are! Aren't they lovely? Steve felt, and rightly so, that we should give some of the profits to the actual National Organization of Witches, so that's what we're going to do. What lovely gifts they'll make for the card-carrying witch in your life, as they celebrate whatever satan-worshipping winter holiday they celebrate.*******
Happy holiday shopping, everyone, and hail Satan!
____________________________________________
*Note that it's "for", not "of". People always get that wrong, I don't know why.
**The president of the local chapter has come in twice to pick up our donations. I wanted to link to a photo of her on their site because she's just so darned cute, but she seems to be camera shy. I could not find her name or photo anywhere on the site, which would make me think that somebody is posing as a feminist to make off with free vibrators, except she came in with appropriate forms and documentation and answered the phone at NOW headquarters when I called, so I suppose I have to reign in my fantasies of a maurading band of women stealing sex toys in the name of feminism.
***This moniker is from Echidne, I think. We should all start using it right away.
****See? Everybody does that "of" thing.
*****Seems ridiculous, except that the European burning of witches killed thousands of women, mostly property owning widows, businesswomen, and midwives. So maybe so.
******Who knows? I really don't, except that a Google search for "National Organization of Witches" turned up a lot of people spewing the usual lies about NOW sucking up to Clinton after the whole Lewinsky thing.
*******This is the only card-carrying member of NOW that I could think of. Ironic, no?
Full disclosure: I am not, and never have been, a member of the National Organization for Women.* Steve and I have donated a couple of Rabbit Pearls to them for the annual silent auction they have at the local chapter here in Chicago**, though, so I suppose we still do support them in some monetary way.
Even though I'm not, you know, official or anything, I still joined the active members in a collective eyeroll when the Leader of the Christian Taliban*** Jerry Falwell referred to them as The National Organization of Witches.****
This, sadly, is what passes for wit in those circles. They've been calling feminists "witches" for literally twenty years, possibly more. I think more. I think second wave feminist icon (and one of my heroes) Robin Morgan started a group called WITCH in response to it, where they ran around and did Abbie Hoffman-esque stunts like casting a spell on the New York Stock Exchange to shut it down at the beginning of the day. When the Wall Streeters tried to open the doors, they found that they could not. The WITCHes took full credit for their spell working, of course, and they were indeed responsible, as they had superglued the locks shut the night before.
So feminists haven't taken the accusations of witchcraft seriously, ever. So why does the religious right persist when we so clearly are amused by it? I was thinking about it when I was stuck in a four hour long traffic jam with the kids in the car last Wednesday, and the only thing I could come up with is either 1.) it's a veiled threat along the lines of "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live"***** or 2.) Falwell and his people are taking Harry Potter way too seriously.******
Did I mention I was in traffic for four hours? Four hours to travel 35 miles? Lots of time to think, there. I started daydreaming about how wonderful that would be if it were true, the National Organization of Witches. I would so totally join if that were one of the perks. Ah, to zip over all this traffic on my broomstick! Alex would ride in front of me so I could hold on to him, while Christopher would sit behind me in his carseat that I would have to figure out how to attach to the wide bristly part of the broom. In the winter, I'd have to cast some sort of protective heat bubble around us, because Alex hates cold weather. I imagined us sailing along over the tops of all the cars.
"Here comes an overpass, kids! Should we go over it or through it?"
"Through it! Through it!"
"Everybody duck!"
"Wheeeeeeeee!"
Would that be great or what? And imagine our tee-shirts! I had so much time sitting there in the car that I actually did imagine the tee-shirts. Then I went home and made them. I designed the logo and Steve created the Cafe Press site, and here they are! Aren't they lovely? Steve felt, and rightly so, that we should give some of the profits to the actual National Organization of Witches, so that's what we're going to do. What lovely gifts they'll make for the card-carrying witch in your life, as they celebrate whatever satan-worshipping winter holiday they celebrate.*******
Happy holiday shopping, everyone, and hail Satan!
____________________________________________
*Note that it's "for", not "of". People always get that wrong, I don't know why.
**The president of the local chapter has come in twice to pick up our donations. I wanted to link to a photo of her on their site because she's just so darned cute, but she seems to be camera shy. I could not find her name or photo anywhere on the site, which would make me think that somebody is posing as a feminist to make off with free vibrators, except she came in with appropriate forms and documentation and answered the phone at NOW headquarters when I called, so I suppose I have to reign in my fantasies of a maurading band of women stealing sex toys in the name of feminism.
***This moniker is from Echidne, I think. We should all start using it right away.
****See? Everybody does that "of" thing.
*****Seems ridiculous, except that the European burning of witches killed thousands of women, mostly property owning widows, businesswomen, and midwives. So maybe so.
******Who knows? I really don't, except that a Google search for "National Organization of Witches" turned up a lot of people spewing the usual lies about NOW sucking up to Clinton after the whole Lewinsky thing.
*******This is the only card-carrying member of NOW that I could think of. Ironic, no?
posted by flea at 11/28/2004 02:51:00 PM
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