Friday Maintenance.

E-Mail Bag.

From AJ:

My boyfriend has a foot fetish and I would like to pleasure him with my feet. Iam not sure how to do it properly, I have tried but I can not find a comfortable position to do this in. Do you have any suggestions?


I admit it: the only experience I have with foot fetishism was at a trade show I attended in the beginning of September 2003. The guy stared at my feet like they were boobs, which made me uncomfortable, then called me at work to pretend like he just wanted to talk but we both knew he was trying to make a date with my feet.

I try not to think about it.

However, this does not mean I don't want to be of assistance, so I turned the problem over to Audacia Ray, a New York City sex worker who specializes in foot fetishists. I had always thought sex workers were more along the lines of General Practitioners, but clearly they have Specialists in the business as well. Who knew? Anyway, it turns out that making Dacia do my work for me was one of my better ideas, because get a load of this fantastic answer she gave us:

First of all, make sure your feet are nice and soft – you might get a pedicure, or get your boyfriend to learn how to give them. Right before you give him a footjob, wash your feet with warm to hot water – or better yet get him to wash your feet – this will soften them up and make the experience more pleasurable for him. The foot-washing doesn’t have to involve a fancy newfangled foot bath machine, but a little bit of a foot massage in the mix might be nice too.



The two most crucial things in giving a successful footjob are positioning your body so your legs don’t give out on you, and finding a foot-on-cock technique that works for both you and your guy. Both of these will require some experimenting. Just as with a handjob, it’s a good idea to use plenty of lube on both your feet and his cock – this will make things a lot easier. Ok: so you’ve got soft sexy feet, lube and a guy excited about your feet. Now things get tricky.



The first big challenge is what the hell kind of position you need to be in to make this venture successful. Some of this will be determined by whether or not your guy is submissive – if he is he may want you to be above him and doing most of the work. If he isn’t he might get more into fucking your feet. A more active position for him would involve you lying down and him guiding your feet and his cock. One way to do it is for both of you to be lying on your backs, with your feet close to each other. You should put the soles of your feet together lightly, lube them up and then let him hold your feet and slide his cock between them, basically fucking in between your two arches. Visually this one is pretty hot, and your guy will be able to control the kind of stimulation he’s getting, plus he’ll be able to massage your feet as he’s doing it. Another variation of this foot-fucking is for you to lie on your stomach and bend your knees, keeping your feet close together. He can then get on his knees behind you (like doggie style, but with feet) and hold your feet in the right position to maximize his pleasure. Both of these positions are pretty low impact on you – they will give him the foot experience but won’t stress you out terribly about the finer points of technique and toe manipulation.



If he is submissive, or if you want to control most of what’s going on, you can try a different position that will be a lot more work for you, but could be lots of fun and good practice on the toe dexterity front. You should have him lie or sit on the floor in front of you as you sit in a chair or stool above him. I find that a medium height stool works best – if you’re sitting in a chair that would allow you to put your feet flat on the floor, doing the footjob won’t work too well because you’ll kind of have to hold your legs up in an awkward and muscle taxing way. So – get a medium stool, or experiment with sitting on some phone books to get the right height. One you’ve got the right height and leverage – here comes the tricky part.

Unless you are totally awesome, your toes probably aren’t as dexterous as your fingers, so though feet and hands are in the same family, they aren’t capable of the same things unless your toes get a lot of practice. A good move to start with is to get his penis in a position so that it’s pointing towards his bellybutton and slowly rub your toes and ball of your foot up from his balls towards the tip of his cock. A variation on this simple stroke is – if possible with the anatomy of your feet and the shape of his cock – slip his cock between your big toe and your pointer toe and stroke him that way. This is a pretty simple way to touch his cock with your feet that will probably feel pretty good to him. Vary the stroking with wiggling your toes on his frenum, the loose flap of skin on the underside of the penis where the glans meets the shaft and is connected to the foreskin (if there is one). Though of course this isn’t applicable to ALL foot fetishists, if your guy is like many foot fetishists, he’ll be in heaven with the combination of you using the sole of your foot and wiggling your toes. You might try using your other foot to lightly press down on his balls.

Another thing you can try is while letting his erection stand up, use the big toe/pointer toe to grasp the bas of his cock while teasing his foot with the arch of your other foot. You can also try to use both feet to stroke his cock downwards – this is more of a free form kind of stroke, so just try to concentrate on his reactions and see what he likes best.

Last but certainly not least, you should ask your boyfriend how he’d like to be touched, what parts of your feet he finds the most sexy, etc. This conversation will serve to inform you better about his fetish and what he likes and could also serve as some good dirty talk if you play your cards right.

Is that some good advice, or what? I never would have been able to come up with that. This answering questions stuff is easy when you make other people do it!

Check out Audacia Ray at Waking Vixen.

Thank you very much Dacia, and AJ, I hope Dacia's advice works for you.

Okay, in my next e-mail, reader Susanna writes:

What the heck is up with this sex toy ban thing in Alabama? I think
I somehow missed the boat last summer, but I guess the Supreme Court
just upheld the lower courts decision or something! I'm having a
hard time googling up hard news on this, it is all second hand stuff
right now. Know anyone in the field who was legislated out of a
livelihood?

Well, from what I understand, the Supreme Court in Alabama is made up of three judges; 2 men and 1 woman. Every few years, a group of women petitions the court to overturn this unfathomably stupid, sexist ban.* The court has a chat about it, which goes something like this:

Women: Are you ready to stop being sexist douchebags about this?

Woman Judge: God, yes.

Male Judges: Ewwwwwwwww! Vaginas are gross! Girls are icky! Ewwwwwwww!

Since the sale of female masturbation aids have always been illegal in Alabama, I am unaware of any brave young thing who may have gotten busted selling a bullet vibe on the courthouse steps of Birmingham, but I have to admit when the rest of the nation was making fun of Alabama over this issue I was sorely tempted to be the one getting arrested for the cause. Or at least giving them away downtown until I was forced to stop.

Number three:

Amy2 has found some good links that tell you all about the history of vibrators. She temporarily forgot how lazy I am and thought I might want to write a post summing up all three sites into one kickass history lesson, but I think an even better idea would be for her to do it and for me to link to her, saying, "Look at this kick ass post by Amy2!"

And speaking of links:

Links.

Reader Pesto points me in the direction of this great new blog I Blame the Patriarchy, who has an excellent take on the He-Man Woman-Hater's Club that is The Daily Kos. What a shame I can't de-link him. Wouldn't it be nice if all women stopped reading Daily Kos? He seems stats-conscious, and that would give him, finally, a reason to ask where all the women bloggers are at.

Eric Zorn phones it in.

Lauren reminds me why I need to get my butt in gear and link to Ginmar already.

Mrs. Kennedy weasels out of giving her husband the Best Father's Day Gift Ever.

Regulars in the Comments Lounge will not be surprised to hear that Ralph has come unhinged and is now arguing the pros and cons of Gov. Blagojevich with himself.

Ms. Musings linked to a story in New York magazine about Andrea Dworkin, with a lengthy interview with her widower, John Stoltenberg.

And I have to tell you this - I CRIED AND CRIED when I read it, to the point where Christopher, who was sitting on my lap, asked me to stop reading sad things. But I didn't cry because it was sad, I cried because it was romantic. I can say that without fear of retribution because if Dworkin were alive, she'd flay me for saying her marriage to Stoltenberg was an incredible romance, but she isn't so I will.

Look at some of these excerpts, will you? It's killing me:

he [Stoltenberg] remembers feeling [when he met Dworkin] “like we had walked off a cliff.” As if the force of their connection had rendered the world weightless beneath his feet.

“We had no idea she was near death,” says Stoltenberg, who is wearing black jeans and a black sweater and has the sunken eyes of a man in mourning. “I forbade her to die first. I mean, that’s kind of a joke—if you knew Andrea, you knew that was just a dare.” He laughs. “They never tell you when you fall in love with somebody that the odds are that one of you will go first. I’ve been trying to remember when I realized—it had to have been in the first year or two—that my life’s work . . . what John Stoltenberg is here for . . . ” He starts to sob. “I’m sorry . . . is to make sure that her life’s work be done. I’ve done other things—things I like to do, things I’m good at—but I have never conceived of my life’s work other than as the home, the rock, the means, the support, the harbor, the net, the comfort, the embrace, whatever was needed so she could go on. ’Cause I figured it out real early that she was brilliant. I knew I was in the presence of somebody who had greatness.”

Plus there's a great photo of them:



OH! AND! Fatale Media sent me a second copy of Dominatrix Waitrix, so now there will be two winners in the contest, the results of which I will post on Monday.


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*Pornography, that seemingly indispensible masturbatory aid for men is completely, unquestionably legal in Alabama, along with Jergen's Lotion and their right hands.